The Blues Brothers' Christmas Concert

Who just went to the Blues Brother's' Christmas Party? Ozzy did! And it was kick-ass! I loved every second. I was one of the first to join Elwood's "Blues Train", during which I rallied up the masses into a clapping-to-the-beat frenzy, and I shook Jake's hand. Added to that, I got a really cool hat! My life is pretty damn good right now.

[Ozzy is a big fan of the Blues Brothers. Every time he watches the movie, it's almost enough to turn him Christian again. Almost.]

"Were so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight, and we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois law enforcement community who have chosen to join us in the palace hotel ballroom at this time. We do sincerely hope you'll all enjoy the show, and please remember people, that no matter who you are, and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there still some things that make us all the same. You, me them, everybody, everybody!"

That guy.

He's going to be crushed for what he has done.

Of Love

I am fed up of people saying "I love you' when they don't mean it.
Sure, they say it because they're friends. And they do love me, in a way. But I can never help but think, whenever someone says that to me., "No you don't. Not really".
I guess I'm just one to think of love as something not to be just thrown around. I accept that there are 'many types of love', I just don't think all of them can be expressed by such a strong term. The word love, in my mind, is something romantic. Something between a couple that means something special.

That's all for now.

I'm out.

[Ozzy is a romantic and a gentleman. He strives to be the perfect guy, and is a fair way to being so. In his opinion.]

"When you walk away, you don't hear me say, please, oh baby, don't go"

Why Underage Drinking is Wrong

The amount of drinking that goes on in younger people really pisses me off. Now, I'm not saying this for the usual reasons like "It's damaging to their health". With that,I have the same stance as I do to smoking. If you're going to do it, fair play. As long as you don't bother me with it, whatever. I just think there are better ways to kill yourself. Anyway. I don't like kids drinking excessively, mainly because, they don't know what the fuck they're doing. You get these alcopops, which they drink just to get drunk, because they taste nice. Well, you know what? That's fucking cheating! What's the point, if you can't savour the alcohol? If you're not old enough to enjoy the taste of alcohol, then you shouldn't be drinking. I tried one of these things once. And you know what? I may as well have drank a bottle of squash. It was that kind of sickly sweetness. Just as if they'd taken a J2O and shoved a load of vodka in it, to disguise the vodka. Yes, I'm stating the obvious. That's what they are, I know. It's still wrong. It's probably hampering their ability to eventually taste alcohol as well.. It's all just so asinine.
Of course, you get those who make excuses for it. It's fun, for example. Yes, I can see how not knowing what the fuck you're doing, possibly making stupid mistakes if you happen not to be with a trustworthy SOBER friend. Or maybe, it helps with the stress. You're in fucking secondary school! I did secondary school\! there's not that much stress! You wait till you leave! Then you'll know stress.
Just to make things clear, I've got no problem with these people drinking if they do it...*sigh*. If they do it responsibly. Don't get fucked off your face for the hell of it. Don't make up excuses as to why you should

Basically, what I'm saying is : Don't cheat when it comes to your drink. If you're going to get drunk, don't be stupid about it, and be adult about it. It's an adult drink, so deal with it like one. Don't cover up the alcohol. Savour it. Learn it. Love it. Eventually you will be rewarded with a developed palate.

And then you can get wasted properly.

I'm out.

[Ozzy is more a fan of a few glasses of red wine or a bit of cava. He's not 'posh' at all, he just likes them better than beer or vodka.]

" Dreamer, you know you are a dreamer. Well can you put your hands in your head, oh no!"

Why Facebook is stupidly additive.

Too often now have I found myself making excellent headway on something I'll be doing for work, when bam! I find myself on facebook. So now I'm wondering. Is it really that necessary for my to go onto this thing, only to see what person has been rated 8 in Hot or Not, which friends are like me, how normal I am, or which friends I'd rather have sex with, marry, or kill in cold blooded murder? Evidentially so. The depressing thing is, I know it's sad. I know I don't have to go on there. I know I really don't need to know what other people think of me. And I certainly don't need to know other people's relationship status, on account of that little matter of I DON'T CARE, you know? On that note, I laugh at those of you who need to change your relationship status instantly when there's some development in your love life, like it's some kind of validation meter of your life. When people ask if you're "'officially' going out", in that lax, jokey way people do, you can now say "Yes I am. It's on Facebook, and therefore it's official.". I sincerely hope your status is changed back to single soon after.

Incidentally, I know what other people think of me. I am pretty much all round loved.

I'm out.

[Ozzy is actually the victim of an annoyingly sudden break up. True it happened about a month ago, but she meant something to him. And the reasons she gave for breaking up.. Well, they were vague and stupidly adolescent. "Seriously girls, If you break up with someone, do it without cushioning. Don't fucking make excuses, and don't try to alleviate the blame off yourself or even them. The guy will feel much better in the long run."
Now Ozzy is going to continue trying to get over her.]

"Sing once again with me, our strange duet. My power over you, grows stronger yet."

Why The News Media Sucks

"Wait. I've got it! We'll go to trial!"
" And…?"
"And the ensuing media circus will harken the decline of society! This place will be a barren wasteland in fifty years and then we can make good our escape!"

Such are the plans of webcomic 1 8-bit Theatre character 'Red Mage' to get himself and his fellow light warriors out of wrongful imprisonment.2 However his unknowingly satirical comments reflect today's society quite aptly. Everywhere you look, the media has it's vulture-like talons hooked in, corrupting the minds of many.

Instantly I point out the irony, that this is a form of media, designed to sway your opinion on the subject matter to, or at least closely resemble my own. The difference is that, in this case, I ask you to come to your own conclusion, weighing up both sides of the argument before judging either view.

In my bluntest terms, I have to say that my opinion of the news media is abysmal. It twists and distorts what people say for their own needs, it thrives on others misery, because that is the only way it can survive.

Which segues nicely to my first point. The mental make up of the average human, if we are to go by the news media's standards would make it appear that we cannot be happy unless someone else is suffering. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying we don't need to know about foreign wars and whether x murderer and y serial rapist has been caught (That's another point entirely). It seems to me however that the news likes to, and frequently has been making mountains out of molehills for so long that it's just become second nature. For example, the household name news item that was the McCann story. Again, don't misunderstand. It's a terrible thing what's happened. But people, including children, are getting kidnapped every day. How many of them get press coverage?
Then we got the new story (well, not new any more, but bare with me) that the Portuguese police are accusing the girl's own mother of killing the child. Well, to use a common phrase, the press had a field day. Let's ignore the possibility that the police may have made this up in order to solve problems or tourism and the vast amount of funding going into a thus far fruitless case. (Wouldn't be politically practical after all). No, let us all sway the public into hating the McCanns. But wait, there is evidence to suggest their innocent!? Oh, you bad bad Portuguese police. Feel the cold white fury of the british tabloids! But no, the police have had progress with the case! It must've been the mother! Oh wait, a 'millionaire businessman' is funding the McCanns! They must be good. Not much story though. Lets Copy/Paste one of our old articles, and stick this new stuff at the top. Jenkins! Get to work on some nonsensical graphs! Let's forget that a girl has disappeared.
So you see, the story went from the initial 'little girl lost' to the eventual nonsense. Madeline has been forgotten effectively, existing now only as a lead up to another article "Mother's DNA Found In Own House". Oh my gidget, the woman's a monster.

Right next topic (And I'll try not to go so overboard). The infamous war on terror. This part I find deliciously ironic. You all know what the WoT is all abut so I'll just keep this one brief. Firstly, what is the point of terrorism. Not, as many think, to kill, maim, or otherwise injure. It is to cause and spread terror. Clue's in the name. So, what, may I ask, has the hype and overacting news coverage done? Why, spread terror of course. People are terrified of anything outside their own back garden. You want a good place to strt your war on terror, Mr Bush? Try CNN, ABC, hell, let's throw in the BBC, and basically all news coverage.

If you hadn't noticed, I just pointed out the flaw in my entire argument. We will never be without news coverage. People need to know about the lies of others and their daily happenings. Every detail of celebrities, love, life and laughter, must be divulged. They're well known after all! It's our right to know what t-shirts Major Tom wears, who's shagging who, what celebrity has been caught in whatever scandal that, thanks to news coverage, will never be forgotten. That person's life has been ruined, but do the papers care? Hell no. Do the new stations empathise? Don't be foolish.

As I said, It's up to you to make your own decision about whether it is the news crews or I who is the greater fool. Just don't judge blindly. Look into the other facts. Take note that there are probably parts of this that make no sense at all and would not stand up in real debate3. At the end of the day the message I'm trying to get across is who is more foolish? The fool, or the fool that follows him?4

In any case, the band of light warriors exploded their way out of prison, so all is well there.
EDIT: After more procrastinating, I found this other relevant comic. So, it turns out procrastination is a good thing. I think I'll do some more.








1 A comic published on the Internet. Not exactly rocket science to work out, but you'd be surprised how many people ask
2 tinyurl.com/yvahgj
3 Not really, seeing as I wrote it, but then the crazy don't know they're crazy
4 For the amusement of Tio

So, two of my friends are no longer friends themselves. Well, to be honest, I'm not too good friends with one, who shall henceforth be known as McGregorfan. She's basically a complete social reject. I mean, I have no illusions about my social standing (even during my earlier post). I'm, well, I'm relatively popular. I'm not disliked by many, and those who do like me tend to have nice things to say. Mainly that I'm a 'nice guy'. Probably. No matter.

Point is, she's the type of person who cries when she doesn't get what she want. Not in a spoilt rich teen way either. Just in an 'I-spend-too-much-time-around-my-baby-sister-and-am-subconsciously-emulating-her
-actions' kind of way.
Anyway. We're all in this business meeting, and when it comes to her to do something, she just sits there and sulks. Well, basically, she is just unable to perform in these situations. She is fired soon after this happens again after frequent cautions and her own disbelief that anything would happen.

Now, the other friend is a good friend of mine. We're both keen science nerds, and we learnt spanish together for years (admittedly he did so faster than me, but then he's more of a language person). As such, he shall be known as Tio. Tio, and I'm sure he won't mind me saying, also used to be a bit of a social outcast. Used to be. He won't mind me saying, because I'll readily admit that I too was a bit "out there". Anyway. Now he has opened up out of his shell and become a relatively normal member of society (Relatively, because, well, totally normal is boring, and in our social circle, being completely normal is pretty much impossible anyway).
So you can see where wedges ma have been put. Aside from McGregorfan's complete lack of maturity, basically, everyone has moved on without her, and she blames everyone but herself. I did try to get her to socialize more, become more accepting of others, and such like, but it didn't take. So, I gave up and now she has pretty much no-one. Right now, we sound like the bad guys, I see that, but seriously. I you had someone who was doing nothing to help anyone, and basically repelled anyone she came across, would you want to continue associating with them? No. you'd tell them to snap out of it, and get into the game, or failing that, just leave them behind. It's cruel, but necessary.
Anyway, I found recent events particularly amusing, because the two of them had an exchange of emails in which she pretty much proves every point I've made here, and Tio tells her some more 'home truths'. It's all very amusing. I'll post an excerpt. Here you go:

How you can accuse ME of being immature is beyond me. I refrained from telling you in person why i don't like you as, as many have said, you may have clawed my eyes out or done something of that "mature" caliber. But if you really want to know, here goes:

1. Your completely childish behaviour, more specifically,

• When i was with Ozzy and didn't talk to yuo [sic] for even a small volume of time you began crying.You really must learn that people do not have to be with you constantly.
• Also, you seem to believe that you are better than everyone else, calling "everyone" in your class clods, when many of them are friends of mine, just because they don't like you and i understand why
• crying when you wanted to put a point across at YE, honestly, when Ozzy, i or any other person who is not socially retarded tries to say something and fails, they persevere, they don't just cry and cause everyone to think they are kids.

2. Just asking for the books back when you know perfectly well that you gave them to me is another prime example of exceeding maturity.

3. When you say you want the books very much as you would use them, it means you want to take up spanish, which is funny as i seem to remember in the last email you said you mother wanted them. I wouldn't be surprised that you are making this all up to try and make me feel sad about "abandoning" you. well i have a big news headline for you i have never been happier. I now have mroe [sic] than just 2 friends and am not frowned upon just because i am your friend.

4. Also, i am at the end of my tether, two years, McGregorfan, 2 years of being thrown snide comments at which i never had before i knew you, being forced to have only you as a friend, and you making me not like everyone, as one of my very good friends has told me today, i wont say his name as you make [sic] hurt him, considering your present mental state, i have come out of my cocoon and he is proud of me as i am now surrounded by people i like and it is reciprocate.

5. Another example of complete and utterly ridicule behaviour, crossing out (name removed)'s name on my notebook was THE most stupd [sic] thing you could do, even for you, it was deemed of a jealous 4 year old with severe brain trauma.

I don't really know why it's funny. I guess it's because I'm a bit of a sadist at heart, and seeing someone get told their flaws that they refuse to see themselves is pretty damn funny.

And with that, Oz is once again out.

[Ozzy still has a bit of godliness about him. But there's nothing like a bit of metal to make you angry at nothing in particular by the end of the song.]

"I can't decide whether you should live or die"

Why I am a god

My personality is a weird one. One moment it's a very mellow thing. Seriously, most of the time I have this awesome natural high. I'm sure that if I ever did take drugs, it wouldn't be much different to my usual self. And rarely I become hyper. Very rarely. I have had 3 cans of red bull, a bottle of Oasis, and a supposed concentration helping effervescent tablet style drink in the space of 2 hours, and felt nothing from it.
My self esteem also is one to take strange jumps. Just the other week I came home repeating over and over 'fuck fuck fuck' for a good 10-15 continuous minutes, pretty much hating myself, others and the world around me. Just now on the other hand, I walked in to my house with the words "Ozzy, you are a bloody GOD'' passing my lips. I repeated this a couple more times, smiled at my own brillienciation, made myself a sandwich, and proceeded upstairs to my computer. Because, I am, when it comes to the opposite gender, a mystical, enigmatic, all round loved god!

Now just to wait for the self loathing to kick in again.

Oz is out.

[Ozzy is currently lending a book called Geomancer to a girl. "It makes it so much easier when trying to think of something to talk about if you've already provided a source of common interest." It is also noted that this is not why he is a bloody god "Though now I consider it, it is one of my more god like actions"]


"There's a mocking bird, singing songs in the trees. There's a mockingbird, singing just for me"

Ozzy on Debate

A few days ago I was having a chat with my friends about, well, about anything. It pretty much ranged from the dodgy area of the infamous "Dead Baby Jokes" to more serious matters, like the point of religion in today's society. The more serious parts, I regret to say were not as full of intellectual prowess as perhaps I would have liked. The standard structure was as such:
Me: Thought provoking argument for/against a subject of relative importance.
Other: Less thought provoking, but nonetheless valid rebuttal
Me: Acknowledgment of comment, followed by a swift reason why my point is better
Yet another other: Argument for/against me, that has been passed around debate forums everywhere so manyt ime that it's now clichéd and anyway it's full of parts of misinformation.
Other: Acknowledgment of case, + additional information that may or may not also be riddled with misinformation.
Me: Yet more proof that I am the better debater
Another other: Your mum joke
Me: "Fuck you guys"
Them: More your mum jokes and eventually more dead baby jokes.

I seriously believe that I am the only person with any interest in debate there. They're all perfectly smart people, they just like to disturb each other by regaling all with short tales of things purple and squealing or red, silver and bumping into walls rather than contemplate the greater things in life. It's really just depressing to consider these people my peers sometimes.

Or maybe I'm just an arrogant, self righteous fucktard with an overly jaded and cynical view on life.

Either way is fine by me.

Oz is out

P.S. Feel like debating anything? I'll take you on.

[Ozzy got bought an advent calendar the other day. It is considered to be a monument to the commercialism that christmas has gained in today's society. But it's also free chocolate, so all is cool in regards to that.]

"You want me? Fucking come on and break the door down"

Exerting Large Amounts Of Energy For No Apparent Reason

So, I got back a while ago from a 30 km hike in the Forest of Dean, for Ten Tors training. I am in pain. not only that, but this 30 km is a bare fraction of the intended 45 miles for the eventual event in which I must trek across Dartmoor for the 45 miles with roughly 13 kg on my back, more if I get stuck with the tent/trangia, over two days.

So why am I doing thing? To be honest, I don't really know. I rather, I do, but it involves several things, and I'm not sure which is the most true.

1. It's fun. During the thing, this is not strictly true. I fact, I can remember every training expedition and all eventual events ending with me thinking "Thank sweet logic that's over". Once, I think I may have broken into tears (admittedly it was raining, we were behind schedule, and it was my first time. Added to that the seemingly endless bogs that confronted us to our final resting place for the day, on top of some tor, in a relatively good quality tent, hands frozen, grimly clutching our wayfarers for warmth and sustenance simultaneously. And once again I wonder, why do I do this?)
2. The satisfaction of having done it. This is more true. Despite the above, I have always felt a warm sense of pride at having completed the seemingly impossible (not as impossible as the contents of my other blog, but pretty close)
3. The muscles. Even I can be as superficial as that. But, truth of the matter, this thing does put you a fair way towards being fairly ripped.
4. It's a recognized achievement. i.e., it looks good on the old CV/Resumé. I guess it's valued for the whole teamwork/completing arduous tasks given to you aspects. And its pretty impressive in itself.
5. It's pretty impressive in itself. When looking for something interesting to say about yourself, you can always mention "I've done Ten Tors". And seeing as many people don't know what the hell it is, you can extend the conversation by explaining it all, and of course exaggerating all the daring adventures and events that happened. For example, the daring time when we were training in the Black Mountains, in Wales, and the snow was up to my waist (read: somewhere between my ankles and knees. One step later, I was up to my neck (read: waist) in snow! Admittedly that was quite fun.
6. But I think the prime reason that everyone does this, is, at the end, when you've abandoned your stuff, you're aching all over, and you've received and had you photos taken with your medals, when all is said and done, walking the short distance, flinching every step, into the army canteen, and receiving your free cup of tomato soup.

The last one was obviously (partially. It isn't bad soup) a joke. The real reason is the luxury of the scalding bath when you get home.


"I am a shadow on the wall, I'll be the one to save us all"